Blinded
by Cyranothe2nd
Summary: One of my charecteristic one shots. Severus' thoughts after Sirius' death and a confrontation with two students. Please RR


**Summary: Snape's thoughts about Sirius Black post-OotP. Spoilers, knowledge assumed. I know in the book they all go back to Hogwarts, not Grimmauld. But for my purpose they have all taken a slight detour…**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, I just take them out and play with them every once and awhile.**

**This is only a one-shot so spare me your pleas grin Please read and review. Here we go…**

**Blinded**

I am glad Sirius Black is dead.

Of course I hide it well. It wouldn't do to show my joy in that bastard's demise to the Boy Who Lived. At the best of times he has little control over himself and Dumbledore would never forgive me if I killed the boy. I somehow doubt "He attacked me first" would be seen as a good enough excuse. Unfortunate. It would be too easy to provoke Potter into a foolish action. God knew he got up to enough trouble without any provocation. What idiotic exploits could he be convinced into if I really applied myself to the task?

I am a Potions Master, a Deatheater, a spy and deadly duelist. But seeing Sirius Black alive and free made me feel helpless. It reminded me of the days when I was young and powerless to stop his harassment. It reminded me of all those times when I would burn with futile rage and vow to kill both him and Potter. I hated being reminded of the boy I once was. I have spent so much of my life trying to erase that past. I can bear having people hate me but I cannot bear being laughed at.

And so, after spending most of the night watching the Dark Lord rant as he tortured Bella for her failure in capturing the prophecy I Apparated back to Grimmauld Place and sat at Black's table and toasted his death with a glass of whiskey. If I were a better man I would see something heroic in his death. Instead I found it incredibly funny. He had threatened my life on almost a weekly basis when we were at school. And after graduation, when I had been risking my life spying on the Dark Lord he had been languishing in Azcaban or in the prison of this house. And yet it was he who was dead. After two glasses of Old Ogden's I was nearly overcome by the humor of the situation. And of course this is how that idiot boy found me.

"Snape." Harry Potter hissed.

I turned to him, carefully schooling my features to hide the glee I felt.

"Potter." I greeted him calmly.

"What are you doing here? You have no right!"

"I have every right. I am waiting for Dumbledore." I was doing no such thing but my calm was enraging the boy and I watched him fuming, delighting in his misery.

"You must be loving this." Potter said bitterly. "You always hated him. You must be loving that he's dead."

"Actually Mr. Potter, I am." I said calmly.

"Get out." He was nearly shouting at me. His face was tear-streaked and his always unruly hair was standing on end. "GET OUT!"

I smiled coldly at him. "Make me." I said levelly.

I do not know if he would have actually pulled his wand because the Granger girl interrupted us.

"Harry?" She looked from him to me. I gave her a glare that didn't quell her in the least. She grabbed Potter's arm and hauled him out of the kitchen. I sat back down and contemplated my whiskey. I thought of leaving but a few moments later the door flew open and Miss Granger strode up to the table and slapped me across the face.

To say I was surprised would have been an understatement. I resisted the urge to raise a hand to my stinging cheek and merely looked at her. She stood in front of me, cheeks flushed and bushy hair flying.

"You did that on purpose!" She shouted at me. "You baited him, you bastard!" She drew back her hand again but I caught her wrist before it made contact with my face.

"Strike me again at your peril." I hissed.

She wrenched her wrist from my grasp. "How dare you throw Sirius' death in Harry's face? How DARE you? Haven't you any heart? Haven't you any feelings at all?"

_More than you will ever know._ I thought. I stood up. "I have no feelings about a silly boy who risks his life and the lives of others in a foolish venture. I have no feelings for a man who stupidly throws his life away to escape his duty. And I have no feelings whatever for a girl who cannot see beyond her own anger into the bigger picture."

I turned to leave but her voice stopped me.

"What _is_ the bigger picture?"

I turned back to her. She was standing stiffly, her hands curled into fists and her jaw clenched but she was looking at me, listening.

"Why do you think the Deatheaters wanted the prophecy so badly?"

She canted her head to the side, thinking. "Do you mean it has something to do with Harry?" She asked.

_Very good, Miss Granger. _I thought. _At least your brain is working now._

"I'm sure Dumbledore has already told the boy the contents of the prophecy. It is for him to tell."

"Why dangle it in front of me if you aren't going to say?" She said, looking angry again.

I gave her a thin-lipped smile. "Very well." I quoted the prophecy from memory. If the Dark Lord had known those words were locked in my head he would have split it open long ago and picked them out of my brain. Luckily for me he did not. I finished speaking. Granger bowed her head. I expected her to latch onto the fact that Potter must kill the Dark Lord but she did not. Instead she said,

"..._He will have a power the Dark Lord knows not_…What does that mean?"

I shrugged. "Dumbledore believes it means that the boy is loyal and good and all of that tripe."

"And you?"

I stared at her, considering_. Should I tell her the truth? Or leave her to puzzle it out?_

"I believe that the boy is unremarkable." I said at last. "And because of this the Dark Lord will continually underestimate him."

Granger shook her head. "You're wrong." She said.

"Am I?" I raised an eyebrow. "Tell me, did Potter solve all of the riddles in order to get to the Sorcerer's Stone? Did he fight Tom Riddle in the Chamber of Secrets without help? How did he make it through the tasks to win the Tri-Wizard Tournament? Even tonight, he had help in order to escape. He has never faced the Dark Lord on his own…"

"That's not true! The night Cedric died-"

"Potter would have died too if not for the Priori Incantatum. At every step of the way, _every time_, it was only chance that saved him. The boy is not remarkable, only lucky. That is all."

"You're wrong." Granger said again. "You hate him, just as you always hated Sirius You can't see that they aren't what you think them to be. Sirius wasn't a murderer. And Harry's not a nobody."

Her faith in the boy hurt me more than it should have.

"I see Potter has made a convert of you as well. I always thought you were too intelligent to join his fan club."

She glared at me but I turned away, scooping up my cloak.

"You're blind, Snape." She said softly behind me. "It's you who can't see the bigger picture."

I left the room but her words followed me into the night. _You're blind you're blind you're blind…_

_Blinded by you. _I thought_. Only by you._


End file.
